Where do I begin...

Where do I finish? Where do I begin to describe the experience of daily considering Kingdom Signs, journaling, and submitting it to my blog? This has been my first dedicated (though erratic) attempt at a daily journal. The clarity and sense of self-understanding has been significantly improved as I have been able to delve into emotions and subsequent reactions without haste and describe such exactly. Admittedly, in considering the audience, I also had to consider content and language which, only occasionally, I found restrictive.
The subject of Kingdom Signs provided me a positive focus with which to get started. Initially I was scouring my day for a profound message and panicked at coming up dry. Soon I realised that the signs could be quite simple and clear. The attitude of being alert to Kingdom Signs was a great way to embark upon my days.
Thank you to those who commented on my blog and in person. I found such feedback to be wonderfully encouraging and thought provoking.
Now I am looking at alternative ways of making sense of my days and am praying for direction.

la la land

It has been too long since my last sign in and the past days have been depressing and negative. School holidays and the lack of routine put me into spiritual la la land. When I make an effort to record my musings I become so much clearer in my thinking, more positive towards the world around me and grateful for God’s abundance.
I wonder whether Grace provided a Kingdom sign for someone yesterday. We had spent about an hour doing errands in a bustling mall – a spiritual wasteland I prefer to avoid. Along the slalom course was a stage where a group was setting up for StarFest. Grace asked me what was going on so I explained that you could sing, dance or act and maybe win a prize. Grace said she could do that. I suggested that she needed to work on her performance a bit more. She was quiet for a while then launched into her rendition of Easter People as we walked along. This is a song, with actions, she learned at school. I must have looked like I was tuning into some weird radio station as I dodged promo signs, avoided bumping people and swayed so not to be slapped by Grace’s outstretched arms singing “Jesus is Lord” and "Let us rejoice" at full volume. Along the way I collected a few quizzical looks but there was no way I was going to quieten such a witness.

July 6

It was an exercise I remember from long ago but back then I guess my mind wasn’t open to adopting the practice or recognising its power. I love analogies; they are helpful as reminders and reinforce my learning. The unexceptional orange was used as a powerful symbol at the Practising our Faith meeting yesterday. The segments of the orange were likened to the different parts we are made up of such as body, mind, soul and spirit. As the skin was peeled away we were encouraged to confess our failures to love and be loved. Typically I forgot this specific focus as I headed away with intact orange and bowl. Instead I imagined God’s desire to have me shed my thick, pithy sins and the worldly followings I clutch to thus revealing the person He created me to be. As I peeled the fruit I noticed how difficult it was to get started with thumbprint sizes being discarded instead of smooth lengths winding around the orange. Despite having not yet penetrated the flesh I had juice dribbling down my fingers; a promise of what’s to come. The blue willow pattern of the bowl provided a beautiful contrast to the orange peel and I wondered whether God too found this process a beautiful thing. As I shedded the heavy coat I tried to identify ways and thinking that needed ridding; something that I think will become clearer with practise. While consuming the flesh I thanked God for the good in me – again something that may become easier with practise and praised Him for His bounteous love. I am looking forward to my next orange.

July 4th

The highlight for today was to enjoy personable customer service from a prominent retailer. The culture of providing a bargin seems to have come at the expense of real customer service. Wherever I shop I seem to be served by robots just getting through their day. Today the assistant was genuinely willing to come out from behind the anonymity safe counter and answer my all too basic questions and I remained on her radar until I had completed what I had come for. I wonder what would be the best avenue to pass on compliments to her employer?

2nd July

Yesterday I just knew I had to leave the children sat in front of a favourite movie while I found a quiet place to pray. An alarming situation had arisen between friends and family with a potential of inflicting hurt and division within their church and families. I was feeling very anxious so I prayed for God’s intervention. Upon my knees (and in my prayers) I lifted each person involved up to God, gave thanks for them and on their behalf I asked for peace and protection.
As the situation developed I was aware that in my anxiety I was trying to control components and not trusting it to God. I felt relief at relinquishing that control and in believing that He was at work.

I believe division within churches and inflamed relationships are warnings/signs of God's Kingdom coming.

June 30

Today has been a funny, fuzzy muddle. It seems my mind has resorted to power save mode as I make one giggly mistake after another. My thinking seems sluggish and ever so slightly misaligned. If I had the chance I’d go back to bed and start the day again. Such slurred thinking shackled with negativity and apathy seems a dangerous brew. Whenever I gain clarity and real feeling in my relationship with God I then become doubtful. Evil attempts have been awakened to trick me into turning my back on true fulfillment. I have become confused and disorientated… however…this time I will straighten my back and dig in my toes. I will don garments of praise and block my ears to his saccharine treachery. I am praying for spiritual chocks to prevent me from losing ground until a refreshing breeze clears the fug.

This is the day...

Despite being a day of plenty and goodness I feel a disquiet in my spirit. The wet weather and inactivity, TV, DVDs, the newspaper, grocery shopping and managing the children makes my head crowded and dissonant. I often feel this way. The day is near-ended without thinking to look or listen for a flutter of the Kingdom. Caught up in the busy-ness and trying to survive the day I realise I haven’t been alert to God’s involvement at all. Although I have no flutters to report I will scan the environment for the words to a song of praise. Whether through a scent that provokes a chain of thoughts, the rhythm of the window wipers or the title of a book I shall be alert.