Chuckle

Where do I begin...

2008-07-13T01:49:00.000-07:00

Where do I finish? Where do I begin to describe the experience of daily considering Kingdom Signs, journaling, and submitting it to my blog? This has been my first dedicated (though erratic) attempt at a daily journal. The clarity and sense of self-understanding has been significantly improved as I have been able to delve into emotions and subsequent reactions without haste and describe such exactly. Admittedly, in considering the audience, I also had to consider content and language which, only occasionally, I found restrictive.
The subject of Kingdom Signs provided me a positive focus with which to get started. Initially I was scouring my day for a profound message and panicked at coming up dry. Soon I realised that the signs could be quite simple and clear. The attitude of being alert to Kingdom Signs was a great way to embark upon my days.
Thank you to those who commented on my blog and in person. I found such feedback to be wonderfully encouraging and thought provoking.
Now I am looking at alternative ways of making sense of my days and am praying for direction.

la la land

2008-07-09T03:14:00.000-07:00

It has been too long since my last sign in and the past days have been depressing and negative. School holidays and the lack of routine put me into spiritual la la land. When I make an effort to record my musings I become so much clearer in my thinking, more positive towards the world around me and grateful for God’s abundance.
I wonder whether Grace provided a Kingdom sign for someone yesterday. We had spent about an hour doing errands in a bustling mall – a spiritual wasteland I prefer to avoid. Along the slalom course was a stage where a group was setting up for StarFest. Grace asked me what was going on so I explained that you could sing, dance or act and maybe win a prize. Grace said she could do that. I suggested that she needed to work on her performance a bit more. She was quiet for a while then launched into her rendition of Easter People as we walked along. This is a song, with actions, she learned at school. I must have looked like I was tuning into some weird radio station as I dodged promo signs, avoided bumping people and swayed so not to be slapped by Grace’s outstretched arms singing “Jesus is Lord” and "Let us rejoice" at full volume. Along the way I collected a few quizzical looks but there was no way I was going to quieten such a witness.

July 6

2008-07-06T01:28:00.000-07:00

It was an exercise I remember from long ago but back then I guess my mind wasn’t open to adopting the practice or recognising its power. I love analogies; they are helpful as reminders and reinforce my learning. The unexceptional orange was used as a powerful symbol at the Practising our Faith meeting yesterday. The segments of the orange were likened to the different parts we are made up of such as body, mind, soul and spirit. As the skin was peeled away we were encouraged to confess our failures to love and be loved. Typically I forgot this specific focus as I headed away with intact orange and bowl. Instead I imagined God’s desire to have me shed my thick, pithy sins and the worldly followings I clutch to thus revealing the person He created me to be. As I peeled the fruit I noticed how difficult it was to get started with thumbprint sizes being discarded instead of smooth lengths winding around the orange. Despite having not yet penetrated the flesh I had juice dribbling down my fingers; a promise of what’s to come. The blue willow pattern of the bowl provided a beautiful contrast to the orange peel and I wondered whether God too found this process a beautiful thing. As I shedded the heavy coat I tried to identify ways and thinking that needed ridding; something that I think will become clearer with practise. While consuming the flesh I thanked God for the good in me – again something that may become easier with practise and praised Him for His bounteous love. I am looking forward to my next orange.

July 4th

2008-07-04T00:19:00.000-07:00

The highlight for today was to enjoy personable customer service from a prominent retailer. The culture of providing a bargin seems to have come at the expense of real customer service. Wherever I shop I seem to be served by robots just getting through their day. Today the assistant was genuinely willing to come out from behind the anonymity safe counter and answer my all too basic questions and I remained on her radar until I had completed what I had come for. I wonder what would be the best avenue to pass on compliments to her employer?

2nd July

2008-07-02T03:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I just knew I had to leave the children sat in front of a favourite movie while I found a quiet place to pray. An alarming situation had arisen between friends and family with a potential of inflicting hurt and division within their church and families. I was feeling very anxious so I prayed for God’s intervention. Upon my knees (and in my prayers) I lifted each person involved up to God, gave thanks for them and on their behalf I asked for peace and protection.
As the situation developed I was aware that in my anxiety I was trying to control components and not trusting it to God. I felt relief at relinquishing that control and in believing that He was at work.

I believe division within churches and inflamed relationships are warnings/signs of God's Kingdom coming.

June 30

2008-06-30T02:33:00.000-07:00

Today has been a funny, fuzzy muddle. It seems my mind has resorted to power save mode as I make one giggly mistake after another. My thinking seems sluggish and ever so slightly misaligned. If I had the chance I’d go back to bed and start the day again. Such slurred thinking shackled with negativity and apathy seems a dangerous brew. Whenever I gain clarity and real feeling in my relationship with God I then become doubtful. Evil attempts have been awakened to trick me into turning my back on true fulfillment. I have become confused and disorientated… however…this time I will straighten my back and dig in my toes. I will don garments of praise and block my ears to his saccharine treachery. I am praying for spiritual chocks to prevent me from losing ground until a refreshing breeze clears the fug.

This is the day...

2008-06-27T21:54:00.001-07:00

Despite being a day of plenty and goodness I feel a disquiet in my spirit. The wet weather and inactivity, TV, DVDs, the newspaper, grocery shopping and managing the children makes my head crowded and dissonant. I often feel this way. The day is near-ended without thinking to look or listen for a flutter of the Kingdom. Caught up in the busy-ness and trying to survive the day I realise I haven’t been alert to God’s involvement at all. Although I have no flutters to report I will scan the environment for the words to a song of praise. Whether through a scent that provokes a chain of thoughts, the rhythm of the window wipers or the title of a book I shall be alert.

The Kingdom in a Hug

2008-06-26T01:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I saw Jesus. He was clothed as the principal of Grace’s school and he was giving one of her classmates a hug. As I watched I thought “There’s Jesus comforting a troubled boy”. As the day wore on my thinking returned to this incident and, I admit, I wondered whether the man was trying to compensate for having to discipline the boy earlier but when I replayed the scene I saw Jesus wanting to take on the boy’s troubles.
Today I asked God that if appropriate could I tell the man what I had seen. When the opportunity presented I said to him, “I saw Jesus yesterday”. A conversation ensued and he seemed grateful. I too am grateful for an opportunity to give encouragement.

The Week in Reflection

2008-06-24T01:17:00.000-07:00

When I read the following excerpt I marvelled at God’s ability to reinforce my learning by presenting me with recurring messages or themes. I was simply browsing, admiring the wonderful creativity and trying to gain some courage to give it a go. It’s taken from ‘Expressive Handmade Books’ by Ailsa Golden and reads:

A drawing teacher once told me that drawing wasn’t about drawing, it was about looking. All art is about observation and interpretation. When you have a moment, listen to every sound, look at every face, smell and touch what you can. Endless sources of inspiration pass you by and all because you are not paying attention.
You can sift through everything you have heard and make connections between seemingly different things. Try taking two random words or images and spin a web between them. It can be easy to find connections between them if you let your mind wander without judgement.

These words so aptly describe my week. In seeking Him I have been attentive, open, honest and expectant. I listened and I watched. In return God has revived my senses and given me hope.

June 22

2008-06-21T23:06:00.000-07:00

I find it so easy to see signs of the Kingdom in landscapes. I feel like my soul is touched, like God is speaking directly to me without words as I gaze upon the view. It can be as simple as rolling hills or wisps of cloud against a brilliant blue sky. Unfortunately I’ve found it hard to indulge in such connections since becoming a Mum; asking for and finding time for me is something I continue to battle with. Although it has its advantages and opportunities city living can be downright stifling. Today I was blessed with images via powerpoint of landscapes and photos, beautifully clear, of roses. I am so grateful to be able to gain connections via such media – God sure is up with His technology.

June 21

2008-06-20T23:46:00.000-07:00

Never has it happened before. While wanting to check out a verse in Matthew my bible fluttered open to Isaiah 55 entitled Invitation to the Thirsty which at the time was very relevant. I began reading and smiled at God’s perfect timing and ability to catch my attention. These verses from Isaiah 55:1-3 are resoundingly pertinent to over a year of wondering and feeble searching.
It reads: “Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink – even if you have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk – it’s all free! Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength? Why pay for food that does you no good? Listen, and I will tell you where to get food that is good for the soul!
“Come to me with your ears wide open. Listen, for the life of your soul is at stake. I am ready to make an everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the mercies and unfailing love that I promised to David.
As I read on I was connecting the imagery to Jesus’ stories of the Farmer Scattering Seed and the Wheat and the Weeds. Sandwiched between these parables are references back to Isaiah of the importance to listen and see for God is speaking and showing me His way. I am grateful for God’s encouragement and confirmation.

Matthew 13:8

2008-06-19T02:21:00.000-07:00

Today was a day of survival. Here I sit with the worst behind me so survive I have. I thank God for His sustenance. The thought flittered through my mind that “this was why I drank”; the fact that I haven’t is my kingdom sign for today. I thank God for His sustenance.
I am reminded of a photo of a tree perched on the rugged Otago Peninsula exposed to the prevailing southerly which has given the tree an unnatural lean It is knarled and knotted; a dramatic photo. What is not shown is the root system needed to anchor against such forces. Today I withstood the southerly and thank God that my roots are growing in His good soil.

20/20 - 18 June

2008-06-18T02:40:00.000-07:00

As I was driving along to pick up Grace from school I wondered whether the only flutter for today would be in the blustery flick of the flags. I should have known better than to think God knocked off @ 3pm…
After a night of broken sleep I lazed longer in bed than I should have and it was a rush to get everybody with everything out the door on time. Grace’s eye patch was left behind. As I broke the news to Grace a loud wail rang out followed by a gush of tears. This is a turn around I thought. For years it was a tearful battle to try and get her to wear the jolly thing and now that she was expecting to have to wear it 7 hours a day (at school no less) the deviation caused distress.
After the day’s end bell rang Grace wandered out of her classroom and seemed to be fiddling with something in her pocket. In her hand she proudly showed me her tiny, clear nosepad lost a week ago after and bit of playground rough and tumble. I praised her and said it was brilliant that she found it. In fact I was dumbfounded, amazed. This is a transparent, peanut-sized pad that fits onto her glasses so that they sit comfortably on her nose. I don’t think Grace went looking for it; I think God led her to it. Maybe she saw a glint amongst the playground rubble. I wonder whether she would have found it if she was wearing her patch as prescribed.
I’m almost too afraid to draw too many parallels between Grace’s flawed physical eyesight and my spiritual near-blindness. However I do feel consoled that as I approach a time of sifting through my spiritual rubble I carry that God will provide real and practical comfort.

Out of the Blue - 17 June

2008-06-18T02:35:00.000-07:00

So often at work I hear the phrase, “I was talking about her earlier” or “I had looked out his file and was just about to phone” or “that is so WEIRD” because so often something has been mentioned in connection with the person before they have made contact with us out of the blue as it were.
Today such phrases were abounding and I wondered when that had last happened to me; as it used to, often.In later dissection I could see that God had prepared me. With a feather duster God tickled my thinking into order; maybe even gently rearranged it. I found myself more coherent and able to relax when the opportunity presented itself or the interaction took place. I felt that I had a greater sensitivity in the situation too. It also affirmed that my timing and placement was in tune with God’s. God was working with me. The Master Potter